


Sei Il Mio Sole E Non Tramonti Mai

by brainsfrittata



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 07:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3759544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainsfrittata/pseuds/brainsfrittata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan brings some light (and flavour) into Sehun's grey life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sei Il Mio Sole E Non Tramonti Mai

**Author's Note:**

> The title is in Italian. It means literally "you are my sun and you never set".

Sehun wonders why people hate Mondays. It's not like they can avoid it. It's not that if they hate that certain day hard enough, it will magically go away. Waking up all grumpy and bitter surely won't make their lives better.

He doesn't entirely hate Mondays. He kind of enjoys going to work in the morning and watching gloomy faces as they pass him by. Black silhouettes carrying their black briefcases on black streets. Everyone fast as lightning, no one ever looking up. But then there are young schoolgirls with their high socks and short skirts and toothy smiles that giggle and look away upon meeting Sehun's gaze. Every single time. And every single time, he clears his throat and blushes a little, then lowers his head to stare at the ground and speeds up his pace.

One day, not a Monday morning but a Thursday afternoon, while he stands in one the busiest intersection of Seoul, waiting for the red light to turn green together with at least a hundred bodies, he thinks that maybe people hate Mondays because they hate their job. They hate their job so bad that they wish Mondays never existed. But that still doesn't make sense, because they should hate every other day too. He doesn't hate his job. It's not what he wants to do until he dies, alright, but it's still something. Thanks to it, he can afford hot meals and a warm bed and, more importantly, a roof above his head. Maybe he's just lucky. Maybe whoever hates Mondays had no other choice and now just stick with what they have.

Right as he's about to elaborate more, Sehun notices movement across the street. There's someone moving in the middle of the crowd. It's a person with bright hair and bright clothes and it looks like a little ray of sunshine struggling to break through the clouds. It's quite entertaining to watch, and Sehun roots for that little beam of light, waiting expectantly to see if it manages to emerge. It does eventually, and the sight is blinding. It's a boy, maybe around his own age, with such pretty features that one might mistake him for a girl if not for the scrawny legs poking out of his baby blue running shorts and the absence of curves underneath the yellow t-shirt.

The boy removes his earphones and smiles widely, baring a cute set of pearly whites. He starts waving his hand in Sehun's direction, who in response can only stare in the dumbest way because he doesn't even know the guy and honestly that smile is almost brighter than all the other things crowding his vision. He thinks he should wave back because he knows his manners, so he does.

At that exact moment, the traffic light turns green and both crowds start to move. Sehun is equally hyped and scared, because while a part of him wants to run away as far as possible, the other part yearns to get closer, like a moth attracted by a lamp in the middle of the night. As the boy approaches fastly, Sehun examines every folder in his mind to try and recall if maybe he's a former classmate he just can't recognize, or someone who was behind him in a queue at the convenience store, or at the post office, or God knows where.

As he's about to open his mouth and say hi, the boy runs past him and hugs a tall, lanky guy not too far behind. They start to chat in a foreign language and Sehun feels like dying on the spot.

The embarrassment is so overwhelming that he forgets where he was going in the first place and rapidly turns around on his heels, heading straight back home where he hides underneath the covers until dinner time. That's when he remembers his original task of the afternoon: going to get bubble tea at his favourite shop and then taking his time drinking it on a bench in the park, because Thursday is his day off and he likes to relax that way. He glances over at the alarm clock on the nightstand and decides to grab dinner and then bubble tea. He feels kinda stupid, but he purposely takes back roads to his destination, avoiding that damn intersection and any possible hitch along the way, especially in the form of colourful joggers.

The rest of the evening goes by quietly and it's not until Sehun is safe in his bed with a full stomach and all the lights off that he thinks about the boy. He squeezes his eyes shut and if he concentrates hard enough, he's almost able to recreate the warm light emitting from him in his mind. The street lamp just across from his window glows behind his closed eyes, but he secretly pretends it’s the boy lighting him up. He falls asleep with a fuzzy feeling deep inside his gut.

-

Sehun wakes up the following morning with a newfound energy. He jumps out of bed and gets ready in the bathroom, occasionally smiling at his reflection in the mirror and humming a popular song he had heard in the bubble tea shop the night before while waiting for his order. It’s not completely out of character, because he’s never really been a grumpy riser, but the humming and the smiling are usually reserved for later on in the morning. It’s Friday, which means he gets to meet his good friend and coworker Zitao while on his way to work.

On Thursdays Zitao sleeps over at his girlfriend’s, who happens to live just two blocks away from Sehun’s apartment. She’s a long-haired, well-mannered Chinese girl, cute as a button and just as small. Zitao loves her very much and, being Chinese himself, fondly goes on about how she makes him feel at home even if they’re both so far from it. The three of them often hang out together, despite Sehun always feeling intrusive and Zitao always shutting him up with a smile. Sehun sincerely envies their relationship, envies all of it with the pure and lonely heart of an introvert.

He gulps down a big bite of vegetable and cheese omelet, thinking about his life in general. Twenty years spent in quietness, solitude and hard work, without much space for friendship, let alone love. Shaking off the uneasy feeling, he washes the breakfast dishes and quickly grabs his bag, all ready to leave.

While locking the front door behind him, he recalls his first day at work a year and a half ago. He recalls how hard it had been, and yet how amazing, with Zitao immediately befriending him despite not speaking fluent Korean yet, a relatively new recruit himself. The foreigner didn’t take much time to notice Sehun’s natural tendency to withdraw into himself, and always bent over backwards to stop him from feeling lonely. The thought of Zitao fighting back homesick tears while grilling pork belly at their favourite restaurant and thanking him for his friendship brings a fond smile to Sehun’s lips, reminding him that only lonely people can truly see loneliness in others.

Suddenly, and completely uncalled for, random fragments of the bright boy come back to his mind. He remembers that he spoke in a foreign language. Sehun had managed to catch only a few of the words that were being exchanged between him and the tall guy. Without the embarrassment of that unlucky first encounter clouding his brain, Sehun now recalls the language to be Chinese. The _“hi, how are you?”_ that he’s so used to hearing from Zitao and his girlfriend. He deems it interesting, but it ends there. Without much overthinking, he heads down the road and wonders if the cloudy sky will eventually open up.

“GOOD MORNING!”

As expected, Zitao isn’t a grumpy riser either. Sehun puts an arm around his friend’s neck and together they glance up at a certain window, smiling and waving happily before departing.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did! Xin Qian was a bit cold though. I always tell her, drink some liquor before lying down, it helps your circulation! What about you?”

“I slept well, thanks for asking. Ready for the day?”

“Ah, Friday… Well, it’s not like we have much choice. Let’s do this!”

-

Lost in the twists and turns of Seoul there’s a neat little Italian restaurant called “Il Gigante”, the giant. The owner happens to be a small man, ironically. The restaurant is his life, his love, his everything. He leads his staff with a rare passion, and expects just as much from them. It’s true that Do Kyungsoo looks harmless and nice enough to let you step on his favourite carpet, but his subordinates know the truth and they know it too well. Every rose has its thorns and so does Kyungsoo.

“We have a reservation for twenty people today, in addition to the usual. It’s a group of Italian tourists and I expect the best from you people. We have to make them feel at home. Understood?”

A unanimous _“yes sir!”_ closes the customary morning briefing. Kyungsoo takes his time to assess the amount of goodwill in each of his employees’ eyes, then he dismisses them with a swift wave of his hand. Minseok, the head chef, is the first to go back inside the kitchen. The sous chef, a short and angular man named Jongdae, takes a deep breath and slaps himself across the face before following. The two waiters, a bronze skinned kid and an incredibly tall guy with a big smile and even bigger ears, high five each other and enter the changing room to put on their uniform. Zitao and Sehun, respectively the assistant sous chef and the kitchen hand, both send up a prayer upon entering the kitchen.

-

Before Sehun can even realize it, Friday comes to an end. In between washing pots and cutting vegetables and peeling fruit, all the while keeping an eye on the stove because Zitao gets pretty forgetful when under pressure, both lunch and dinner go by without hitches. Sehun wraps up his cleaning at around one am, one hour after closing time. Minseok sits on a stool and alternately looks at him and down at his notepad, which is full of doodles and recipes and footnotes. As Jongdae and Zitao are already gone, they're the only ones left in the kitchen.

"Sehun, do you like to cook?"

Sehun doesn't turn around from the sink to look at the head chef. He turns off the water and nods lightly with a hum, frowning a bit at the question.

"I think I've lost it."

That makes Sehun turn around. Minseok is perched up on the white wooden stool, elbows on the table and an unreadable expression on his round face. He narrows his almond eyes and they dance around Sehun's face, as in searching for something. Flustered because of the sudden scrutiny, Sehun turns back to his sink. This is the first time in a year and a half that the head chef looks at him for so long, or so he thinks.

"What happened, hyung? If I may ask."

No answer. Sehun whips his head around and sees that the stool is empty. That Minseok guy is truly stealthy, he thinks. Almost cat-like.

Without thinking too much about his words, Sehun dries his hands and looks around. No one in sight. He presses his lips together and peeks out of the kitchen door, glancing at the dining room. Kyungsoo is behind the counter, pen in hand and index finger pressing down on the calculator, apparently going through the day's earnings. He wears what he likes to call his evening glasses, having removed his contact lenses at a certain point of the evening. He's blind as a bat but allows no one to remind him. Across from him sits Jongin, the bronze skinned waiter, playing with the straw in his tall glass of what seems like blood orange juice. Sehun knows they’re friends, and seeing them together is no big deal, but if he really looked, he would have noticed the way Kyungsoo pressed down on the calculator a bit too hard, the way Jongin's body was twisted on the bar stool to lean toward Kyungsoo, and the way they both looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. But many things escape Sehun's attention, and in a second he's back inside the kitchen.

With a couple of quick movements, he grabs a tomato, some mozzarella cheese, a square plate and a knife. He cuts through the plump and juicy vegetable, obtaining a few round slices and keeping only the bigger ones. He does the same to the mozzarella cheese, trying his best to match the size of the slices with that of the tomato ones. After the last piece, he arranges them all on the plate in the form of a tower. A trickle of olive oil and some basil leaves on the side and it's done. Sehun looks at the caprese like it's his firstborn. He takes a picture with his cellphone and then eats it up as fast as he can, cleaning everything so that not a trace of his work remains.

Once he's done, he exits the kitchen and goes changing. He emerges three minutes later and steps inside the dining room, clearing his throat to announce himself. Kyungsoo looks up from the calculator and nods once, bidding him goodnight in his own silent way. Jongin smiles at him, his sleepiness evident even from miles away. While on his way out, Sehun hears Kyungsoo softly telling Jongin to go home and get some sleep. Without hearing the answer, and oblivious to the whole situation between the two, Sehun smiles at his boss' unexpected tone and heads back home.

-

Saturday is not too different from Friday at "Il Gigante". The weekend is always pretty busy, with tourists and regulars crowding the small restaurant. Zitao breaks a plate and the always-merry waiter Chanyeol gets asked out by an extremely loud regular, both events not causing anyone to raise their eyebrows because Zitao is as much of a klutz as Chanyeol is a flirt.

It's on Sunday that everything changes. The head chef resigns from the restaurant, bowing profusely at Kyungsoo while thanking him for the last five years. All at once, everything clicks in Sehun's mind. Minseok's words from two days before, how Kyungsoo doesn't seem angry or surprised by the news, instead hugging his most favourite employee and wishing him good luck, Jongdae shedding a lonely tear, it's like everybody knew apart from him. It hits Sehun that maybe he hasn't been paying attention enough.

Minseok recommends one of his friends from the cooking academy as a substitute. He assures Kyungsoo that he's a good person, very job-oriented and diligent, awesome at teamwork and more than willing to work his ass off, even overtime. On top of everything, Minseok adds that he has worked overseas with brilliant results. Kyungsoo agrees to meet this person and everybody looks forward to knowing the guy, but the excitement isn't enough to cover the fact that they will all miss Minseok dearly. With the promise to keep in touch, the now former head chef waves goodbye as he leaves the restaurant after closing time.

Sehun doesn't cook anything that night. He feels empty and dry, missing the familiar figure of the head chef preparing the grocery list for the following day while sitting on his white wooden stool. When he's done cleaning for the day, he heads straight back home. He walks slowly, browsing through the pictures in his cellphone. At the bottom of the gallery, already full of snapshots of Minseok's dishes, there's a folder reserved for his own secret creations. When the kitchen is silent and dark except for a single light above the stove, that's when Sehun loves cooking the most. He cooks at home too, but it doesn't feel the same. At the restaurant there's the thrill of working fast in order to avoid being discovered, the excitement of using tools he would never be allowed to touch during the day, the sense of value that comes from being a chef and not a dishwasher, even if only behind closed doors. Sehun thinks about Minseok's courage to leave a familiar place behind and start anew somewhere else. He's inspired for a brief moment, but a faint voice in the back of his head immediately puts him down. Sullenly, he kicks a pebble and keeps on walking.

-

On Monday morning Sehun wakes up earlier than usual, eager to prepare himself as best as he can to make a good impression on the new head chef. He grabs his white t-shirt and pants from the drying rack, ironing away a few crinkles here and there. In a matter of minutes, his uniform is already inside his bag together with a clean apron from the wardrobe.

When he arrives at the restaurant, Zitao is already in the changing room getting dressed and having problems with the buttons of his jacket, hands shaking in anxiety. He turns to Sehun with an ugly grimace.

“What if he’s a demon?”

“What do you mean a demon?”

“You know, a bad man. With no patience.”

“Ah… Well I guess anybody might seem bad compared to Minseok. Anyway, don’t worry too much. Everything will be alright, I promise.”

“Stop promising stuff you have no power over!!”

Zitao’s high-pitched whining threatens to cause Sehun a bad headache, so he just leaves him be and proceeds to put on his uniform. Chanyeol busts into the room, bragging about his date with that impossibly noisy guy who had the unfortunate idea of asking him out. Jongin follows not too far behind, looking sleepy and tired even before having started the day. Nothing new on all fronts, Sehun thinks.

Ten minutes later, just as Kyungsoo is about to start the briefing, a faint knock on the door signals the arrival of Minseok’s friend. Jongdae goes to open, being the nearest one, and when he does it’s like a ray of light illuminates the dining room. Sehun experiences the first déjà vu of his life, and what comes next usually happens only in fairytales. Or horror movies. Either way, Sehun finds life to be truly funny, because what could become the new head chef of “Il Gigante” is none other than the colourful jogger. That scrawny little boy with deer eyes and cherry lips is now wearing a black hoodie and white jeans. Sehun feels faint for a long moment, managing to snap out of it just before Zitao turns to looks at him with an enthusiastic smile. _He seems nice_ , he mouths. Dear Zitao, always drawn to pretty things. The bright boy bows deeply in front of Kyungsoo, introducing himself as Luhan, Minseok’s good friend from China. Kyungsoo shakes his hand and introduces his employees to him, one by one. Sehun really hopes this Luhan guy doesn’t notice his sweaty hands. Or the blush on his cheeks.

Luckily for Luhan, Monday is a slow day at the restaurant. This way he has the time to get accustomed to the kitchen and the staff. He already has experience with Italian food, having worked for a large restaurant in New York, which is the kind of information that leaves everybody speechless because “Il Gigante” is much more modest than that, will it be enough for him? Meanwhile Zitao is out of his mind because Luhan is Chinese too and maybe they can be friends and he really hopes that Kyungsoo decides to hire him. In the midst of all this commotion, Sehun is left standing awkwardly at the sink, waiting for the first dirty dishes to come his way. He glances at Luhan from time to time, watches him as he reads from Minseok’s cookbook or asks Jongdae for help with this and that. He decides to cut some more potatoes, just in case anybody orders a potato salad. He desperately needs something to do.

“You’re pretty good with the knife. Sehun, right?”

He freezes on the spot, about to slice the last potato of the batch. He feels his cheeks on fire already. When he looks up, Luhan’s dark brown eyes appear even bigger than usual.

“I’m Sehun, yeah. Thanks.”

“Keep up the good work.”

Luhan grabs the salt and smiles before turning around to sauté a mixture of leeks and mushrooms. The aroma that fills the kitchen is mouthwatering, and judging by the state of the plates that reach Sehun’s sink, the customers appreciate Luhan’s cooking greatly.

-

The clock strikes midnight and Sehun is almost done cleaning the kitchen, because closing time on Monday is half an hour earlier than usual. Once everything is perfectly clean, he joins the others in the dining room. Kyungsoo is patting Luhan’s back and Zitao claps his hands like a little girl at her birthday party. Hearing Jongdae and Chanyeol suggest going out drinking to celebrate, Sehun guesses Luhan has indeed become the new head chef. Not knowing how to feel, he thinks he’ll let the alcohol decide for him. Jongdae recommends a pub just around the corner of the street, praising the beer selection to great heights. Jongin enquires about the snacks and Kyungsoo agrees to only one drink, because spirits don’t sit well with his stomach. Chanyeol nudges Luhan and assures him they will succeed in getting the boss drunk. Luhan laughs at the promise, emitting the cutest snort that lands straight inside Sehun’s heart.

Monday night is live music night at the Irish. By the end of the first round of beers, Chanyeol is already singing along and Zitao is about to go onstage to join the band. So much for the cheerful waiter’s promise to get Kyungsoo drunk. Their boss sits in silence, his glass still half full in front of him, quietly tapping his finger to the music. Jongin has his cheek on the table and he looks at Kyungsoo with one sleepy eye. Jongdae soon joins Chanyeol in an ear-splitting performance, much to everyone’s chagrin. Sehun stares at the inside of his glass, wondering when’s the socially acceptable time to excuse himself and leave. He feels someone brushing his arm, and he turns around just in time for Luhan to gulp down the last of his beer. He seems about to say something, so Sehun leans in closer and tries to tune out the music and the yelling.

“Do you guys come here often?”

“Actually we don’t. As a group, I mean. I guess Jongdae is a regular. It’s the first time for me.”

Luhan smiles and his eyes crinkle up in a way that makes Sehun want to punch himself in the gut. He hasn’t had a crush this massive since high school, and all because of a Thursday afternoon at the busiest intersection of Seoul. That unlucky encounter had planted a seed in Sehun’s heart, and the occasion to see Luhan everyday pretty much looked like the perfect kind of rain to make it bloom into something deeper. He smiles quietly to himself, thinking about all the unexpected turns that life is able to lay down on your path.

“What’s so funny? Do I have a piece of seaweed stuck in my teeth?”

Luhan snorts again and Sehun stares at his pink lips.

“No, I was just thinking about something.”

“You’re not much of a talker, are you?”

It might be the beer, or the entirety of Luhan sitting thigh to thigh with him, thing is Sehun’s mouth suddenly grows completely dry. He starts to cough but his glass his empty and Zitao is on the other side of the table, all busy swaying, so he can’t take advantage of his glass either. Luhan pats his back vigorously, offering him his Guinness to sip on. Sehun declines, gently pushing Luhan’s hand away, but the Chinese boy insists, finally succeeding after a few other tries. He laughs at Sehun’s expression after he puts down the glass.

“Bitter, isn’t it?”

Sehun nods as he gradually regains the ability to breathe. He glances around the table and notices that the others are either completely wasted or on the verge of sleep. No, Jongin might actually be sleeping. Even the always-vigilant Kyungsoo seems to be struggling to stay awake, until he somehow manages to get a hold of himself and proclaims it’s time to go. There’s still work in the morning.

The air outside is crisp and Luhan puts up his hoodie. They all say goodbye to each other, and Sehun is surprised upon realizing that he and Luhan are going the same way.

“Do you live around here?”

“Yes, I’ve rented a small apartment. I’m liking this neighborhood so far.”

“It’s not bad. How long have you been living there?”

“A week?”

“Oh. I can show you around some time if you want. There’s nothing much to see, though.”

Luhan hums in agreement, looking around. The 24-hours convenience store Sehun usually visits after work to grab a beer attracts his attention. He stops in front of the entrance, as in pondering whether to go in or not.

“Nah, I’ve drunk enough. Nothing worse than a hangover, am I right?”

Sehun’s turn to hum. They keep on walking silently side by side until Luhan spots something else along the way. This time it’s the little playground right in front of Sehun’s apartment. He stops again and points at the swings with bright eyes and a cheeky smile.

“I haven't been on one of those in YEARS!”

With that he’s off inside the playground. Sehun wonders if it’s real life or just a really good dream. Either way, he follows Luhan and sits down on the swing beside him.

For about twenty minutes, Luhan talks and talks and talks some more. Sehun just listens. He listens as Luhan tells him about his youth back in China, about his passion for cooking and how it has guided him around the world, about his single mother and how hard life on his own had been at first. Sehun wants to tell him that he understands completely, but he can’t find the words and Luhan doesn’t push him to talk. So he just nods. He nods until Luhan decides it’s late and they need to go get some sleep.

“Where is your apartment?”

Sehun points at the building in front of them and Luhan’s eyes grow wide.

“Then I live just across you. And I didn’t know about the playground… And we’ve never even met before!”

Wrong, Sehun thinks. They had met before, only Luhan doesn’t remember. Which is a relief, really, given the circumstances.

“Your building is the brown one, right? Well, the entrance to that is on a whole different street, you have to go around my building to come to the playground. Or come up this way, from the restaurant.”

“Ah… It’s true, I’ve never had the chance to go this way.”

“Plus I’m at home only for a couple of hours in the afternoon and after 1 am, so that makes it kinda difficult to be seen around here.”

“That is true too. Well, now that we know, we can meet up some time. Even say hi from our rooms, if the windows are opposite to each other! We’ll have to find out.”

Luhan’s warm smile and his hopeful words make Sehun feel giddy. He doesn’t even care if Luhan doesn’t like him back, for now it’s enough to be near him and breathe the same air he breathes. When they wave goodbye with the promise to meet in the morning to go to work together, Sehun wonders since when did he become so disgustingly sentimental.

-

Exactly as Minseok had promised, Luhan turns out to be a great employee. He manages the kitchen without ever missing a beat and the staff of "Il Gigante" admires his bright personality and skills, just as much as the owner appreciates his punctuality and drive. Kyungsoo appears to be completely smitten by employee Luhan, always mentioning him as an example to follow and never forgetting to praise his culinary creations.

Sehun is smitten as well, but by human being Luhan. After that Monday night at the playground, they had fallen into a routine made of walking together to work and back, spending breaks together, even seeing each other on Thursdays when the restaurant was closed. Luhan had tried many times to convince Sehun to go jogging with him, but the one and only time Sehun had agreed to that, he ended up almost coughing up a lung. He managed to bring Luhan over to his side, the side with bubble tea and park benches and late night snacks. Sometimes they even hung out with Zitao and Xin Qian, and Luhan seemed genuinely happy to be able to speak in his mother tongue to somebody who could actually understand it. Some other times they would just sit on the swings without saying a word, gaze fixed upon their own feet. During one of their long chats, or better one of Luhan's long rants because Sehun would usually just listen, they discovered that Luhan was actually four years older than Sehun. The latter had elegantly omitted to mention how he was sure of being the older one. While in the kitchen, Luhan's efficiency doesn't keep him from cracking a smile at the younger boy or playfully nudging his shoulder with his own when they find themselves side by side on the counter. Nobody seems to notice except for Zitao, who corners Sehun one day while Luhan is in the dining room to greet an enthusiastic customer that had demanded to meet the chef.

"What's up between you two?"

Sehun panics, even though it's not like he's hurting anybody by being friends with Luhan. Reminding himself this, he calms down a bit.

"No, don't tell me. I already know."

Zitao waves his hand in front of Sehun's face as in swatting a fly away, going back to his frittata. Despite Sehun not talking much, his friend knows everything about him, including his sexuality. The smug smirk on his face as he shakes the pan to cook the frittata evenly makes Sehun blush like a schoolgirl.

"Nothing's up. We're friends."

He mutters under his breath, elbowing Zitao in the side when he hums loudly in a mocking way. It's true though, there's nothing going on between them except for a good friendship. And a massive crush on Sehun's side, but that's another story. When Luhan gets back from the dining room and gives Sehun a thumbs up and a wink, luckily Zitao is turned the other way.

Sehun stops his secret cooking sessions after closing time because Luhan is there with him every night until he's done cleaning. He sits on Minseok's stool and once he's done preparing the grocery list for the following day, he simply waits. Not that Sehun minds, of course, but sometimes he misses the thrill of cooking at night, all by himself in the silent kitchen.

"Do you like cooking, Sehunnie?"

Second déjà vu of Sehun's life. This time though, he turns off the water and turns around. Luhan doesn't look as pensive as Minseok did, just genuinely curious. Sehun takes a deep breath and tries to kill the little voice in the back of his head.

"I love cooking. I wish I had more opportunities to."

"Cook something for me?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Sehun claps once and rubs his hands together, feeling a sudden rush of excitement up his spine. It's now or never, he thinks. He doesn't lose time, putting a saucepan of water on to boil while grabbing a pack of spaghetti, two eggs, a handful of pecorino cheese and some pancetta. After having beaten the eggs and cheese together, he chops the meat into little cubes and fries it until it's golden and crisp. He adds the spaghetti to the water when it boils, waiting for them to cook while lowering the heat under the pancetta. When the pasta is ready, he adds it to the pan and brings the heat back up, stirring everything expertly before adding the eggs and cheese mixture. After thirty seconds, Sehun lays a nice plate of spaghetti alla carbonara in front of Luhan. The head chef closes his eyes and brings the plate up to his nose, inhaling the aroma. A proud smile unfurls on his face as he takes a fork to taste the dish. Sehun starts washing the pan and utensils right away, unable to just stand there and wait for Luhan's response. When he turns his head slightly to spy on his expression, the plate is empty and Luhan is beaming.

"That was the best carbonara I've ever tasted. Even better than mine. The pasta was perfectly al dente, the sauce had just the right texture, not too dry but not too watery either, what to say... You have a natural talent, Sehunnie. Why haven't you said so before? Maybe Kyungsoo-"

"I can't take someone else's place without that someone else either getting fired or ending up taking mine, can I?"

Luhan falls silent before nodding in acknowledgment. Sehun shrugs and washes the plate. It's not like he hasn't pondered his situation, night after night. Who would become the dishwasher? Who would be fired to make way for him? He doesn't even want to think about it. Maybe one day when he's older and braver, maybe he will think about it then.

-

Things go on smoothly over at "Il Gigante", at least until when, two weeks later, Luhan announces that he has to go back to his hometown in China for a week to take care of some business. The world seems to crash upon Kyungsoo's head as he worries night and day about the news. Sehun overhears him tell Luhan how on one hand he really wants to let him go and get some rest because he totally deserves it, after six full months of hard work, but on the other hand he finds himself in a horrible position because who else is going to fill in for him? Sehun can't hear Luhan's answer because Zitao asks him to go check the pantry if there's some more truffle for the risotto.

That night, as they walk back home, curiosity has the best of Sehun as he questions Luhan about the business he needs to take care of so urgently.

"It's about my mom. She's not feeling well and I need to be by her side. Of course she won't let me, but a son's duty is also to ignore a stubborn parent's unreasonable complaints, right?"

"I wouldn't know... I guess so."

"You never talk about your family, tell me something about them. What are your parents like?"

Sehun slows down his pace unconsciously until he stops in the middle of the sidewalk, head hanging low. Luhan stops as well after a couple of steps, looking back over his shoulder to see what's wrong. He turns around and goes to Sehun, putting a hand on his upper arm as he lowers his head to search for his eyes.

"Sehunnie?"

"My parents died when I was little. My aunt took care of me until I was 17. That's when she kicked me out of her house because I told her I liked somebody she didn't approve of. I dropped out of high school and started working the weirdest jobs, until I met Mr. Do who kindly hired me as a kitchen hand at his restaurant."

Luhan presses his lips together and takes Sehun's left hand in his own, squeezing it gently. Without saying anything, he guides him along the road until they reach the playground. Sehun doesn't know what hurts more between his head and his heart, or even the fact that the Chinese boy is silent for once. Scared of having scared him, Sehun watches Luhan as he plops down on the swing and pats the other one next to him. He starts swinging slowly, then changes his mind and sits sideways to face Sehun, head resting against the chain. When Sehun looks at him, unable to hide the hurt and sadness anymore, almost too tired to even pretend he's okay, Luhan still doesn't say anything. He stares intensely into the younger boy's eyes, blinking slowly from time to time. The expression on his beautiful face is unreadable, or maybe Sehun is just not good at reading. Normally he would lower his gaze and blush, but tonight things are different. Tonight he bared his soul to Luhan, and now he wants to bare his heart too.

"You don't have to be lonely anymore, Sehunnie."

Luhan's first words after a long time come out in a breath, almost inaudible, but Sehun hears them like if they were being yelled in his ears. Only those who are truly lonely are able to see loneliness in others, he knows it too well. Does it mean that Luhan is lonely too? Sehun recalls how he has never seen him with other people except from the staff at the restaurant and himself. What about the Chinese guy he had hugged that one Thursday many months ago? If they had been friends, Sehun would have seen him around sooner or later. He looks at Luhan and curses himself for never paying enough attention.

When they say goodbye in front of Sehun's building later on, Luhan informs him he'll be taking the first morning bus to the airport in a few hours. Sehun insists on seeing him off, but Luhan tells him it's okay, that he needs to go to work and not worry. He will be back before he even realizes he's gone. It's just a week, after all. Sehun agrees reluctantly, scratching the back of his head in agitation. Luhan hugs him tight before turning around to head home, lingering in the embrace for that brief moment that pushes Sehun out of his usual boundaries.

"Are you lonely?”

Luhan stops walking and whips his head back around, looking almost dumbfounded. With a couple of long strides he's back in front of Sehun, and before the latter can even blink or explain himself, he kisses him on the corner of his mouth.

"Not anymore."

-

Sehun wakes up on the floor the next morning, still giddy and pretty much on the clouds. He vaguely remembers falling from his bed, but apparently he didn't bother getting up again, instead dragging down the pillow and the sheets. Life feels like a dream, or maybe he's dreaming life, who knows.

When he gets to the restaurant, not half an hour early as he usually does but still in time, he finds Kyungsoo waiting for him behind the counter of the dining room. He motions Sehun to sit down on one of the bar stools in front of him.

"Luhan is gone for a week. I don't want to say we're in deep shit, but we're in deep shit. This Friday we have a party of ten diplomats at dinner. Now, imagine my surprise as Luhan tells me you're good at cooking and encourages me to put my complete trust in you."

"Uh..."

"Exactly. Now, I'm willing to give you a chance just because I truly appreciate you, Sehun, both as a person and as an employee. But if you screw up, it's your head I'll be having for dinner."

"Yes, sir."

"Now go report to Jongdae. You'll be his sous chef for the week. Tao will help you both. I'll think of something as for the washing and cleaning."

"Thank you sir, I will do my best. I won't disappoint you."

Unsure whether to laugh or cry or die or travel all the way to the airport and even China to kill Luhan or maybe kiss him, Sehun starts his first day as sous chef.

-

Luhan calls Sehun two days later, right when he's on the verge of falling into a deep sleep at around half past one am. He doesn't bother checking the caller ID, too exhausted to even open his eyes. Blindly, he swipes across the screen to pick up.

"Yeh."

"Fuck, I forgot about time zones. Did I wake you? I'm so sorry! I thought you were still walking home."

"Hm."

"Sehunnie? It's me, Luhan! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"Ow, your voice…”

"Sorry! God... Just hang up, text me tomorrow when you're free so I can call you. Go back to sleep now. Forgive me!"

"NO! No, wait."

"I'm here."

"It's okay, I'm awake now. How's your mom?"

"Slightly better, thanks. I'm this far from convincing her to move to Seoul with me. She's not getting any younger, and it's not that I can come here that often to check on her..."

Sehun hums in agreement, still unable to open his eyes despite being half awake.

"Ah... Luhan?"

"Sehunnie."

"Thank you. You know, for the job."

"Hey, don't mention it. It's just what you deserve... So Kyungsoo listened to me!"

"He listened to you, yeah. He put Chanyeol in charge of the washing and he took his place as waiter."

"Wow! Now that is something I wish I could witness."

They both laugh heartily for a good minute, then a long pause follows. Sehun is now completely awake, thanks to Luhan's clear laugh. And his steady breathing. And the fact that he's called. The Chinese boy is the first to speak again.

"I missed your voice."

"I miss you."

Sehun talks with his heart in his throat. He's never been so brave in his life, never stepped out of his comfort zone to this extent. But for Luhan, maybe it's all worth it. He knows it for sure when he hears him sigh softly on the other line.

"I'll be back soon. Wait for me."

-

As Luhan is scheduled to get back on Friday morning, Sehun spends his Thursday baking a cake for the occasion. He goes grocery shopping for the ingredients as soon as he wakes up, then after a quick bite for lunch he starts with the preparation. Being the first time he tries baking, he decides to take it slow, and he’s even ready to spend the whole afternoon with his hands in the dough, if necessary. A rainstorm hits Seoul at around half past two and Sehun doesn’t bother closing the window. He loves the smell of the rain, loves cooking when the weather is bad outside. Most people enjoy a cup of hot cocoa and a blanket, but then again he’s not most people.

When he’s about halfway through kneading the dough, hands covered in flour, the doorbell rings. He frowns, not expecting anybody, and goes to open. Right in front of him stands a drenched, shivering Luhan. He looks so tiny and fragile that Sehun wants to cuddle him to death. Soon enough, though, the warm feelings leave space to anxiety and concern.

“Weren’t you supposed to arrive tomorrow morning? Did something happen?”

“Can I come in first?”

Sehun mentally slaps himself once, twice, three times, quickly stepping aside to let Luhan in. He rushes to the bathroom to take the electric heater and the biggest and fluffiest towel he owns. He plugs the heater in the living room and puts Luhan right in front of it, unsure whether to make him change into something dry or simply wrap him up in the towel. He opts for the first choice.

“Stay here in front of the heat while I go get something from my wardrobe. We’re around the same size, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

By the time he gets back with a sweater and flannel sweatpants, Luhan has stripped down to his underwear. He’s crouching down, almost hugging the heater. Sehun doesn’t even blink. He puts the clothes on the sofa and grabs the towel instead, leaning down to wrap up Luhan like a human burrito.

“Can you tell me what happened now?”

Luhan looks up and Sehun’s heart misses a beat.

“I took an early flight. I had to see you. Couldn’t wait any longer.”

The cheeky smile on his face makes him look like a mischievous little kid that has just eaten a jar full of biscuits. He stands up and wraps his arm around Sehun, including him inside the towel.

“Was it worth getting pneumonia and dying?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

Sehun kisses Luhan like if it’s the last thing he does on Earth. He thinks it should just about do it as an answer.


End file.
